All Alone – Musical Thoughts from the mind of a 14 year old

When I was a young teen, I spent a huge portion of my time alone in my room.  Music was my only voice to the outside world.  It carried on a frequency that seemed to transcend class, race, social status, and age.  The loneliness inside was buried deep, and cast a purple, obstructive hue on everything I I dared to dream about.

I loved music, but complications like dyslexia and my unusual way of comprehending lessons made it near impossible for me to understand musical theory, or even read music well.  All the music I heard around me was trapped inside my head, and played in endless loop.  I feared being driven to the edge of insanity.

One year, my parents purchased a piece of music writing software called Cakewalk.  The software had a special feature that allowed me to click on the musical staff and in real time hear the note through an external midi instrument generator.  For the first time,  I didn’t need to know how to read the music.  I could just click on the staff until I heard the pitch on the midi meet the pitch in my head.  Despite this process being painfully slow, I composed a dozen pieces including a  3 movement Requiem, and a Musical scored for a full scale symphony orchestra.  I even won the Ga State title in composition for a piece called Tarantella Russo.

How Sweet the Moonlight Sleeps – a musical no one has ever heard

My musical came to me during first outpouring of musical compositions at age 14.  A scribbled a basic dialogue, designed a few scenes, and wrote all of the major performance pieces.  It was one of the few times I wrote words along with my songs.

The story is about a girl named Catarina, a lost and lonely girl who is so in love with music she fears she will never have the capacity to fall in love with another, until one day when she meets a guy who hears the same song in the moonlight as she.  Originally, I only shared this piece with family and close friends performed without lyrics or layers on the piano.

After performing this piece in public for the first time at Northern Arizona University, the response was overwhelming.  For the first time, I got to feel the reaction of a crowd to music that poured from the deep inner workings of my my lonely, 14 year old self.  It made me wish I could somehow traverse time into the past and whisper to that girl that one day, her music would connect to others.

I plan on finishing the work I started 22 years ago.  For now, I want to present to you the lyrics to the song All Alone.  You can read along while listening to me perform the piece on my violin.

https://soundcloud.com/thelauranadine/all-alone-performance-version

The Lyrics

The night has just begun, and the moonlight fills the sky,

This eve feels never ending, I should be glad to say it’s mine.

All my dreams away they run, never turn to say good bye,

To them I send my blessing, ‘cause with me they’ll never be.

Here I stand, all alone, underneath the whisp’ring moonlight,

Like a bird, sing a song, soft and sweet.

Can I feel the deep green ocean, and with my dreams set sail?

Can I let my mind come open and my thoughts prevail?

Here I stand, all alone, right beside this star struck river,

Like a tree, stroke the blue and velvet sky.

Will I only see a lifetime, where I walk it’s paths alone?

Will I ever cry a tear of joy?

(Instrumental interlude)

Here I stand, all alone, held within a vast horizon,

Like a rock, stern and cold, but always seen.

I won’t fade into shadows; I’ll stand among the bold.

Mark my words, I’ll march on.

The night has just begun, and the moonlight fills the sky,

This eve feels never ending, why aren’t I glad to say it’s mine?

A Song A City – Opening Thoughts

A Song A City – Opening Thoughts

For as long as I can remember, everything around me has a song.  My mind is linked with the universe through music, as if we all are laying on the same sound fabric.  I call these songs Shadow Songs, and the art of listening to them, Shadow Listening. Over the years, I have kept the songs to myself, fearing the reaction.  What if people didn’t like their song?  When I would visit a place, I would hear my song, and then search my ipod for other songs in the same key and mood.  This was all I was brave enough to share.Then, an opportunity came to me.  I was invited to play at an event in Macon, Ga.  The crowd seemed to enjoy my performance of classical pieces.  It struck me, afterwards, that the pieces I had selected were not pieces that the general public would consider ovation worthy.  These just weren’t hugely popular pieces.  So what was it that made the crowd so happy?Following the program, my daughter and I approached the guest speaker, Nancy Grace.  She really loved the music and invited us to play on her show in recognition of autism awareness month.  We were honored and excited.  Now, I just had to figure out what we were going to play.  I reflected deeply on the crowds reactions to my playing.  It occurred to me that my unusual view on music, led to unusual expression in my playing.  Maybe the world was interested in hearing my shadow songs.With a little over a week to prepare, I opened up garage band and recorded the violin part.  One by one, I layered in the other instruments, using a midi keyboard.  In two days, I had a complete song to present.  Once I was in touch with Ms. Grace’s show, I learned I had 2 minutes of air time.  I went back to the computer and cut down the song to 1 minute and 55 seconds.

Our time on the show went by quickly, but I was still very grateful for the exposure.  Fueled by the momentum, I uploaded the song, Stone Shadow, to iTunes.

The reception of Stone Shadow has been amazingly positive.  It seems listeners, fans and friends alike, enjoy my work.  It just seemed foolish to stop there.

A song a city is born

To write more shadow songs, I need to experience the shadows of more places.  I can only hear places I visit first hand.  To make that happen, I need the help of all my fans and friends.

Visit Indiegogo to learn all about the trip, and to be a part of making A Song A City a reality!

A Song A City

Thanks to everyone who has supported me over the years!

Laura Nadine